NewsWhat would you do…

... if you were an elephant?

… young, wild and courageously determined to fly towards the absurdities of the 21st century with ears spread wide, ready to cheat the world; if nothing could stop you, if gravity, politics and climate change would have an equally tough time with you and if you could take any shape and any ability, yeah, what would you do?

Flyer vitra.,translation

I’m the alpha leader, I hope everyone here is clear about that. After all, I am the biggest mammal in the world – cross my heart. If whales say otherwise, it’s deliberately spread misinformation. Whales are dangerous liars anyway, and they need to be stopped. These uneducated, dirty water monsters are a national security risk and are, as I know from reliable sources, financed by communist plankton, which wants to abolish pulmonary breathing once and for all – I am very well informed, you must know. Anyway, they should go back to their oceans and not lie lazily on our beautiful beaches and be fed at our expense. That’s unfair and very sad. Where was I? Oh, yeah. Alpha animals. Myself. Don’t argue with me. As a leader democratically elected by the overwhelming majority of the world’s elephants, I make no compromises. l make Africa great again. Those who stand in the way of this goal will be trampled down. With no regard for casualties. No one will ever dare to criticise elephants again. If you don’t like my uncompromising methods, all I can say to you is this: I have an excellently developed sensitivity, but if you want to negotiate the best contracts, it’s not about who is the most prudent, but who has the longest trunk. And I do. Anyone who says otherwise is a whale sympathizer and should be pushed back into the sea.

T.Rumpeltier, our competition entry

 

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